CarTalk Staff
A friend sent me this list. If you like Car Talk, as I do, you'll enjoy this.
The Conclusive, Definitive, Official Dewey, Cheetham, & Howe Staff List
Air-Quality Monitor: Carmine Dioxide
Airline Reservation Manager: Will Price Randomly
Art Critic: Phyllis Steen
Assertiveness Training Coach: Lois Steem
Assistant Customer Care Representive: Kurt Reply
Asst. Directors of Computer Services: Sy Burnett and Sy Quest
Assistant Director of Moral Support: Hugo Gurll
Asst. Fleet Manager: Lisa Carr
Asst. Transportation Coordinator: Orson Buggy
Attorney General: Janet Torino
Attorney General forTobacco Settlements: Hubert H. Humvee II
Auto-Body Expert: James Bondo
Automotive Finishes Consultant: Rusty Steele
Automotive Medical Researcher: Dr. Denton Fender
Automotive Registrar: Megan Model
Behavior Consultant: Wyatt B. Hoovesia
Bathroom Tile Installer: Lotta Bullnose
Blues Coordinator: Mahamadan Ptolemy
British Cutlery Specialist: Sir Irving Spoon
British Doorman: Isaiah Olchap
Boston Funeral Director: Hadley Newham
Boston Traffic Director: Laura Biden
Butler in Car Talk's Scotland Division: Angus MacCoatup
Broadcast Philosopher: Phillip Airtime
Car Talk Bouncer: Euripedes Ibreakayourface
Car Talk Opera Critic:Barbara Seville
Celebrity Consultants: Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar
Chairman, Federal Lubrication Board: Alan Greasepan
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff: John Shall-I-Pop-a-Wheelie
Chairman, Math Dept.: Horatio Algebra
Chairman, Oral History Dept.: Ira Caull
Chairman, Staff Physics Dept.: Victor Analysis
Chairman, Underemployment Study Group: Art Majors
Chief Justice: Judge Mental
Chief Legal Counsel: Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham Howe
Chief of Stadium Seating for the Olympics: Wayne Back
Chief of Tire Technology: Yessir Itsaflat
Child Development Expert: Dr. Benjamin Spark
Co-Chairmen of Apathy Study Group: Ben Thayer, Don Thatt
Collision Repair Specialist: Jesse "The Body Shop" Ventura
Communications Director: George Stayontopothis
Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Symphony Orchestra: Sludgy Ozawa
Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra: Philip Harmonic
Congressional Lobbyists: OrrinHatchback, Dan Rustencarski, Paul
Simonize, B. F. Gingrich
Conservative Political Commentator: Eileen Tudor-Wright
Coordinator, 12-Step Recovery Program: Cody Pendant
Copyright Attorney: Pat Pending
Corporate Spokesperson: Hugh Lyon Sack
Curator of Tom's Car Collection: Rex Galore
Customer Car Care Representative: Haywood Jabuzoff
Defense Dept. Consultant: Major Error
Dental Hygienist: Ginger Vitis
Designer of Our Casual Clothing Line: Noh Tie, Woo!
Director of Automotive Security: Boris Karlarm
Director, Automotive Recycling Center: Ricardo Dismantleban
Director of Jamaican Baseball Operations: Reggae Jackson
Director of Catering: Russell Upsumgrub
Director of Cadillac Steering: Toulouse Toutrack
Director of Cold Weather Starting: Martina Neverturnover
Director of Moral Support: Hugh DeMann
Director of Computer Diagnostics: Gus O'Genn
Director of Computer Services: Dot Matrix
Director of Congressional Funding: Fred Knott
Director of Country Music: Stan Beyerman
Director of Delicate Electronics Repair: Anita Hammer
Director of Desert Food Supplies: Sandy Berger
Director of E-mail Responses: Peggy Flaming
Director of Gender Studies: Amanda B. Reckondwyth
Director of High-Speed Impact Studies: Ricardo Montana-Bahn
Director of Italian Traffic Enforcement: Noah U. Turna
Director of Intensive Care Unit: Picabo Street
Director of Listener Support: Noah Fundrive
Director of Lubrication: Olive Presser
Director of Long-Range Strategic Planning: Kay Sera
Director of New Product Repair: Warren T. Mifutt
Director of Nutritional Supplements: Rose Hips
Director of Pedestrian Operations: Carless Castenada
Director of Photography: Len Scapon
Director of Pollution Control: Maury Missions
Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder
Director of Speed Bumps: Slow-Me-Down Milosevic
Director of Sports Information: Linus Scrimmage
Director of Monopoly Policy: Juan Moorehouse
Director of Staff Pay Increases: Xavier Breath & Tony Von Thinkett
Director of The Car Talk Psychic Network: La Toyota Jackson
Director of Unsolicited Advice: H. Ross Peugeot
Director of Upward Mobility in Eastern Europe: Zbigniew
Chrysler Director of Warm-Weather Programming: Sumner Reruns
Document Security Expert from Jamaica: Euripedes Upmann
East Asian Used Car Expert: Alexander Soldyernissan
Electronics Technician: Sammy Conductor
Elocution Coach: Dick Shun
Emissions Tester: Justin Hale VII,
Engine Cooling Systems Manager: Jean Claude Air Damme
Evasive Driving Instructor: Vera Bruptly
Fact Checker: Ella Fynoe
Fashion Consultant: Natalie Attired
Financial Forecaster: Lou Gubrious
Fleet Manager: Oscar de la Rental
French Automotive Liason: Maurice Chevrolet
German Interpreter: Axel Hausen
Graduation Coordinators: Val and Dick Torian
Grammar Consultant: I.M. Shirley Wright
Head of Bldgs. & Grounds: Moe D'Lawn
Head of Personal Security: C. Howie Run
Head of Security: Barb Dwyer
Heads of Parts Dept: Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity
Head of Used Car Purchasing: Ewell B. Hoffinett
Horsepower Consultant: Mr. Ed
Inventory Manager: Mandalit Del Bar-Code
Italian Governess; Donna Day Evvalurn
International Lubrication Experts: C.V. Boutro Boutros Gali nd Fidel
Castrol
Jazz Music Coordinator: Bertha Deblues
Keeper of Bell Tower (Hatchback of Notre Dame): Quasi Automotive
Latin American Trade Representative: Noah Comprenday
Leader of The Former Peugeot Dealers ofAmerica Support Group: Eustace L.
Emmons
Libel Defense Director in Tokyo: Sosumi Areti
Leo Tolstoy biographer: Warren Peace
Liaison Officer to Volvo & Renault: Bjorne Toulouse
Lighting Expert : Shanda Lear
Literary Critics: Ernest & Julio Hemingway
Manager of Automotive Accessories: Francis Ford Cupholda
Manager of Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund: Les Ismore
Manager of Cartalk.Com: Cy Burnett
Manager of Employee Refrigerator: Carmen Dating
Manager of the Weekly Shrimp Buffet: Sheldon Deveigned
Marriage Counselor: Marion Haste
Montana Traffic Law Director: Hugh Jim Bissell
Mortgage Loan Consultant: Nora Lenderbee
Nutrition Consultants: Eaton Wright and Liven Good
Parking Attendant: Rick O'Shea
Personal Trainer: Jim Shortz
Photographer:F. Stop Fitzgerald
Poet Laureate: Robert Defrost
Pre-show Caterers: Giardia Brothers
President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men: Emerson Fittibaldie
Producer's Office, Furnished by: Rick Kleiner
Proprietor of Car Talk's men clothing store: Euripedes, Eumenedes
Public Opinion Pollster: Paul Murky of Murky Research
Ratings Analysis Specialist: Rita Menweip
Regional Director, Atlanta: Frank Lee Scarlett
Repair Cost Consultant: Bill M. Moore
Safety Officers: Mort & Fay Tality
Sales Motivation Coach: Norman Vincent Pealeout
Seating Consultant: Rush Lumbar
Secretary of Pain Relief: Les Aspirin
Secretary of Halogen Headlamps:Made-A-Lane Allbright
Secretary of Photographic Reproduction: Fresh Prince
Sexual Harrassment Intervention Counselor: Pat McCann
Singing Urologist: Urethra Franklin
Soloists: Kerry Oki, Victor Yugo
Speech Pathologist: Peter Aftermey
Spiritual Counselor;Miss Dolly Lama
Staff Author: Four-Doo Dostoevski
Staff Bikini Waxer: Harry Mouval
Staff Butler, from the Car Talk Bombay Division: Mahatma Coat
Staff Bouncer: Euripedes Ibrakauface
Staff Carburetor Expert: Leslie Stahl
Staff Cardiologist: Angie O'Plasty
Staff Cat Feeder: Ken Opener
Staff Chaplain: Neil Down
Staff Child Seat Tester: Drew Lee Weiner
Staff Chiropractor: Winston Paine
Staff Composers: Gustav Muffler, Bela Cartok
Staff Cooks: Al Dente, Sal Monella
Staff Disciplinarian:Les Stern
Staff Dramatist: Anton Chokeov
Staff Geneticist : Dr. Jean Poole
Staff Gossip Columnist: Bud Inski
Staff Grief Counselor: Ariel Bummerman
Staff Meteorologist: Gail Storm
Staff Nutritionist: Arlene Menu
Staff Oral Historian: Studds Tercel
Staff Physicist: Moe Mentum
Staff Psychologist: Les Moody
Staff Reporters: Walter Crankcase
Staff Urologist: Willa Catheter
Statistician: Marge Innovera
Suppliers of Insurance to Dewey, Cheetham and Howe: C.F.I. Care
Surgeon General: C. Everett Koop DeVille
Swedish Attorney: Bjorn Liar
Tailor: Euripedes Imenedes
Tax Consultant: Lou Pole
Telephone Solicitation Response Specialist: Teresa Noboddihoum
Timing Director: Benjamin Not-Yet-You-Yahoo! |