Selling Your Film Rights

Again and Again

January 2002

Dear Paul,

You may remember that we exchanged friendly words last year about your journalism site and my novel Goebbels & Gladys. I am glad to see that you are going strong and with lots of interesting stuff. It occurred to me that you might be interested to read a piece I have just had published in the Author, the magazine of the Society of Authors, to which most British writers belong. Kind regards and belated wishes for a good new year.

SOFT OPTIONS

Keith Colquhoun

One evening, quite late, I had a telephone call from New York. The caller said his name was Richmond Crinkley, and that he was a producer and had read a review of my novel "Kiss of Life". Were the film rights still available? A pause. I said I thought they were. Who was my agent? I didn't have one. Mr Crinkley said he was coming to London. Could we have lunch together and do some serious talking? I said I thought we could.

When I put the phone down I wondered if the call had been a hoax. You can have some odd friends. However, I was able to establish that there was a Richmond Crinkley, although his experience seemed to have been with the theatre rather than with films. He did come to London soon after, and lunch was at the Ritz. There is something quite spiritual to be sitting in the Ritz restaurant listening to a highly intelligent person saying highly intelligent things about your highly intelligent novel, and at the same time eating rather good food. I recommend it. I hardly liked to bring up the subject of money. I did not have to. The splendid Mr Crinkley suggested £1,500 for an option of six months. This was about the amount the book had earned in royalties, and it was for nothing except sitting in the Ritz listening to flattery. I said I thought that sounded fair. John Murray got 10% and the rest went on a family holiday.

Not everyone is impressed by options of less than--well you name it. An agent who gave a talk at an event I went to gave the impression that such modest sums were hardly worth getting out of bed for. But I suppose I am an early riser hopeful for worms. The Ritz adventure provided a diversion for months. Famous stars were casually mentioned as though they were queuing up for parts. A Hollywood company got involved somewhere. It liked the story which, apparently, was fish out of water and was going up the totem pole. Would I like to see the treatment that had been prepared? I thought not. A treatment is a synopsis astonishingly different from what is in the book. Treatments tend to upset authors.

You may not recall seeing the film of "Kiss of Life". This is because it has never been made. Hollywood totem poles, it seems, are slippery. However, a number of other brave people have had a go with the book. One was a woman who took out a mortgage on her home to pay for a visit to America to hawk the story from studio to studio because, she said, she loved the central character. I was worried for her. Was this wise? When she was determined to be unwise I said she could have an option for nothing, but she insisted on paying me £50.

Of the eight novels I have had published, four have attracted options. One, called "Filthy Rich", appeared to come within 35 millimeters or so of actually being made into a film. Philip Hinchcliffe, the option-holder, if that is the term, had already made films, which helps. £2,000 was paid up front and a contract bulging with legal words showed how serious everyone was about the project. The most serious part was finding the money to make the film. Australian money looked definitely promising. But after two years and option top-ups every six months at £500 a time it was clear that the diggers were holding on to their cash. The Australian dollar had fallen drastically against the pound. Or it may have increased. I was never quite clear.

Books go out of print. Even library copies are eventually thrown in the bin. Yet out of the blue someone turns up convinced that your yarn will win an Oscar. A young man obsessed with films although with no "track record", as the professionals say, has the latest option on "Kiss of Life". I was so touched by his enthusiasm that we did not discuss money. I must give him a call to see how he is getting on.

Keith Colquhoun's latest novel, Killing Stalin, is being published in February by Smaller Sky Books.