I have a day job. So every word of this is my opinion, not that of my employer. This offer IS void in Wisconsin. Except, of course, that some material in this column comes from incoming e-mail; such material is usually reproduced in the Sans Serif type font to distinguish it from the (somewhat) original material.

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Tales of Teaching 2004
Tales of Teaching 2005

May 5, 2003 Vol. 5, No.19

General News

• Soapbox For The Self-Absorbed?
• Exit Interview Done
• Political Thoughts

Computer Industry News

• Craig Reynolds' Technobriefs

Web Site of the Week

• Much Ado, Patriot Act Parody

Humor

• The Top 15 Leftist Country-Western Song Titles
• The Top 20 Least Successful Restaurant Chains
• Coded Message

Movies

• Confidence
• Identity

Letters

• A Little Dern, A Lot Of Grobstein

General News

Soapbox For The Self-Absorbed?

I was listening to the KQED radio broadcast of the PBS show NewsHour with Jim Lehrer last week when I heard an item about web logs, also know as blogs. The reporter called them "a soapbox for the self-absorbed." An MSNBC blog analyst said their two major characteristics were narcissism and creativity.

Well.

Exit Interview Done

I went out to Chapman University, turned in my candidate teacher profile and underwent an exit interview in which my adviser joined so many other people who have praised me to the sky and claimed I will be a great teacher. Here's hoping they are right. As of now, I have applied to the state of California for credentials to teach history and English in grades 6-12. Issuance of the credential is considered highly likely, and I have letters from Chapman U confirming that, which I am submitting in lieu of credentials with my job applications.

Alas, I did overlook a fourth and final course required for my CLAD credential (which means it is OK to have non-English speaking students in my class), but I hope to find a way to take it on-line this summer.

I'm a teacher!

Political Thoughts

On April 15, 2003, the United States (in the person of a force commander) signed an agreement with an organization designated by the United States as a terrorist organization. In the agreement the United States allowed the terrorists to keep their weapons and promised not to damage any of the group's vehicles, equipment, or any of its property in camps in Iraq. Further, the United States promised not to act against these terrorists in Iran. The cover story is that at some unspecified time in the future, the terrorists will no longer have their weapons. Statements about the matter by an official United States spokesperson (Brig. Gen. Vincent Brooks) since April 15, 2002, have been, to be charitable about it, less than illuminating. One wonders why George Bush and Dick Cheney have decided to advocate the support and nurturing of this terrorist organization which has killed Americans in the past and which is active in both Iran and Iraq. The terrorists have effectively promised not to interfere with U.S. control of Iraqi oil. Read all about it in The New York Times, April 29, 2003, page A1, American Forces And Terror Group Reach Cease-Fire by Douglas Jehl with Michael Gordon.

Seems those paragons of virtue in the Department of Justice (or Injustice, you decide we just do the fair and balanced reporting) allowed another United States citizen (Timothy McVeigh) to be killed by the government without appropriate judicial review. Read about it in The New York Times, May 1, 2003, p. A23, "Lawyers For F.B.I. Employees Raised Doubts About Expert's McVeigh Testimony" under an Associate Press byline. An FBI scientist (we express no opinion on whether that's an oxymoron, you decide) testified at McVeigh's trial that his lab was always locked and therefore his findings could not be the result of contamination in his lab. The scientist's deposition was taken in another case later and he swore that various people who used the alleged chemical contaminant involved had unrestricted unsupervised access to his lab. The lawyers who took the deposition brought the testimony to the attention of John Ashcroft well before McVeigh was killed. Ashcroft buried the evidence and did not meet his constitutional obligation to deliver the evidence to McVeigh's trial lawyers.

Computer Industry News

Craig Reynolds' Technobriefs

Craig Reynolds surfs the net for you.

Rae, my daughter, found William Sexpere's Much Ado About Puberty, of which she says, "Watch the film! It's weird and a half!" A lad in a modern suburb, speaking in iambic pentameter and dressed in Shakespearean clothes, inquires of his mother and father ( similarly attired), what he should make of these changes in his body.

Daniel Dern is developing a lock on this feature; this week he found a funny Patriot Act Parody at Whitehouse.org.

I wrote No. 6.

The Top 20 Least Successful Restaurant Chains

My 13th No. 1; can you make the Hall of Fame incrementally?

Coded Message

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still alive", Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let his friend know that he is still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: 370HSSV-0773H

George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it in and emailed Colin Powell.

Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the cc list got longer and longer. Eventually it arrived at the Fed.

Dr. Greenspan looked at it and replied the next second: "Perhaps the President would wish to look at the message up-side-down...."

You want the facts? Go to the Internet Movie Database.

Three great genres combined into one entertaining movie. First of all, this movie is narrated by a dead man (ala Sunset Boulevard and American Beauty, which means you know the narrator is dead, as opposed to Sixth Sense). Secondly, it is a con game film (ala The Sting, one of my favorite movies of all time). Thirdly, it is a non-linear narrative (not as clever as Memento, but still clever). A very literate, witty, clever and well-done script by Doug Jung. This is his first produced feature film script; previously he wrote for television--his credits include a personal favorite, Breaking News, of which I have every episode on tape.

Great actors. Dustin Hoffman basically has an extended cameo, and its all of his usual bag of twitches and tricks, but he still makes it fun to watch. Why isn't Ed Burns a bigger star by now? The man has real range and is brilliant as the central con man in this film. Andy Garcia. If Andy has been in a bad film, I haven't seen it. Like Hoffman, he's only got a few minutes on screen, but he makes the most of them. James Foley, who hasn't directed anything you've ever heard of except for Glengarry Glen Ross and an episode of Twin Peaks, combines the elements with visual style.

Is it art? No it is not. Is it entertainment? Yes it is. Rated R for language, violence and sexuality/nudity. It would be incomprehensible to anyone under 16, and worse yet, boring. If your taste runs to any of its three genres, you'll want to see it.

Identity

You want the facts? Go to the Internet Movie Database.

Michael Cooney hasn't written much so far, but if this film is any indication of his abilities, he may have a bright future. Alas, Hollywood is littered with the metaphorical corpses of numerous one-shot wonder screenwriters. James Mangold, who has a few films under his belt (including the critically acclaimed Stallone comeback vehicle Cop Land) does a first-class job of directing this moody murder mystery. You can't possibly figure out who dunnit. I guarantee it.

Still, this movie is brilliant. The twist, which you don't get until three-quarters of the way in, will rock you on your heels. Even the anticlimax is well-executed. It's only 90 minutes--I like that. It is rated Rated R for strong violence and language. They aren't kidding. The language is strong and the violence is both strong and realistic. We're not talking slasher movie, but we're talking blood and guts and on-screen murder.

Besides, it features presidential candidate-in-waiting John Cusack as one of the major characters.

Adults only, and only adults with strong stomachs.

By the way, the film deals with multiple personality syndrome. I know a few psychotherapists, and they tell me that multiple personality syndrome is absolutely real, but seldom as clear as it is depicted in Hollywood films--but then films aren't life, they're a heightened metaphorical representation of life. At least they are if they are well done.

Great news from Daniel Dern:

Dan Grobstein found an AP story at the New York Times reporting that PETA wants Hamburg, PA to change its name to veggiburg. Also from the same pair of sources, the Louvre has digitized Leonardo DaVinci's notebooks, and Ailment of Nurse [Florence] Nightingale Is Diagnosed (she had bipolar disorder). Dan also found a Reuters story in the Times about an apparent bioterrorist who was killed by his own toxin in Brazil on his way to Canada. From Salon, he found Blaming The Victim by Lee Feinstein. Salon now charges you if you want to read past the lead paragraph, but here's how the story's described:

Dan also forwards a first-hand account of Apple's new iTune service:

You've all heard of the "deck of cards" given to our troops; Dan bought one. I hope it's not exactly the same as the deck given our troops...

Dan found a Thomas L. Friedman column about post-war Iraq in the New York Times that was, in my opinion, upside down. Here's how it concludes:

Dan had a busy week; he also found the Washington Post story Joe McCarthy Secret Hearings to Be Unveiled Monday.

From elsewhere came two possible answers to two questions asked in last week's column:

Dave Methvin's PC Pitstop