Table of Contents:

General News

• You Can Go Home Again
• Stan Freberg
• My Friends Write

Computer Industry News

• ZDNet Renamed

Web Site of the Week

• The Guide Horse Foundation

Humor

• The Top 16 Disney Movies in Hell
• Editing Hitler

Movies

• Saving Grace, The Replacements

Letters

• This is what I get for skipping a week

General News

First my apologies to the many of you who submitted perfectly good items that would normally have made the column. I have never had to skip a week because of a lack of material. Thanks for thinking of me, and I hope you'll keep sending me stuff anyway, even though I didn't use it this time.

And I have not intention of commenting on Survivor unless forced to. Well, OK, Rudy should have won.

You Can Go Home Again

Marlow, Rae and I spent the weekend with my parents in Portland, Oregon, and I, for one, have seldom enjoyed myself more. I can certainly see what Proust got himself so worked up about.

A walk to and through Wilshire Park, at 33rd and Shaver, made me 11 years old again, on a summer morning at about 10, when Mom chased me out of the house to get some exercise and fresh air. If it was Tuesday or Thursday, I'd stop at Beaumont Pharmacy up at 42nd and Fremont and buy as many Superman DC and Marvel comics as I could afford, then take them over to the park and read them. Outdoors, in the fresh air.

The park seemed to be much farther away back then. They still have the "twirl around until you get sick" piece of playground equipment, which is really amazing in this day and age.

We had a terrific and lovely time. We almost went to a movie at the Hollywood Theater (built in 1926, Portland's last Vaudeville/Silent movie Theater) on Saturday, after dinner at the Kennedy, a grade school that is now a movie theater/bar/bed and breakfast. We spent time at Powell's, the world's largest used book store (10th and Burnside in downtown Portland), and we watched The Man Who Knew Too Little, a great Bill Murray vehicle from a few years back.

Even our hideous trip home (hint: we got home three hours later than scheduled) could not take the bloom off this rose.

Stan Freberg

I love Stan Freberg. Most of you have heard of him, a few of you haven't. He released a string of million-selling novelty records in the 1950s, and was the last network radio comedian; he ran 16 weeks in Jack Benny's Sunday night slot on CBS Radio in the summer and early fall of 1957, but couldn't land a sponsor and was cancelled. Since then, he's been the world's funniest advertising man, creating memorable campaigns for Contadina, Geno's Pizza Rolls and Chun King Chow Mein.

Anyway, during the 1990s, Freberg had a daily radio commentary in syndication. He stopped a few years ago. I liked the ones I heard and wondered if he might do a weekly commentary for Byte.com. He was willing, but alas, we couldn't agree on price. I thought I knew a little something about show biz and prices, but I quickly discovered that the operative word was "a little." I probably embarrassed myself with the offer I made. Oh well, I'll know better next time.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was I spend about half-hour on the phone with Stan Freberg on three occasions over five days, and I have never spoken to any denizen of the upper reaches of show business who was nicer, more pleasant and easier to deal with. Or at peace with himself. He tells amusing anecdotes, and despite the recent death of his wife of four decades, he's maintained his sense of humor.

As our negotiations failed, he noted that he turned 74 in August and added, "At my age, I don't have to do a damned thing I don't want to." I can only hope I'll be able to say that when I'm a little younger.

Check him out at CDNOW; just do an artist search for Freberg (one e). Buy anything on this page; you can't go wrong.

My Friends Write

Merle Kessler, better known as Ian Shoales, does audio commentaries for me at Byte.com. He also writes for Salon Magazine and did a funny piece on a Britney Spears concert he attended with his daughter.

David Strom is good as usual this week:

He then goes on to list several.

Finally, if you enjoy good travel writing, check our Richard Dalton's tale of his recent cross-country move.

Find the whole text here.

Computer Industry News

ZDNet Renamed

This from Richard Dalton--who's proving you can keep up as well from Cape Cod as you can from the Richmond district of SF. All I can say is, been there, done that. Broadcast TV about technology is an idea that won't die, and also won't make a buck. Ever. Here's an excerpt.

From Wired News
TV Gets Net Savvy
by Craig Bicknell
3:00 a.m. Aug. 21, 2000 PDT The number of U.S. Net users has mushroomed to 130 million-plus, and that, says Larry Wangberg, means it's a very good time to be in the TV business.

Wangberg, the CEO of ZDTV, the only full-time tech channel on television, certainly has an inherent interest in believing that statement. But he's apparently made a believer out of Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, too. Last January, Allen paid some $320 million to buy ZDTV from tech-publisher Ziff Davis.

And now Allen is planning to bankroll ZDTV's expensive bid to become a household name. Or rather, bankroll the tech-channel-formerly-known-as-ZDTV's bid to become a household name. Monday, the company re-christened itself "techtv."

Web Site of the Week

The Guide Horse Foundation

Once again, Daniel Dern has found a sound of which one must ask, "Are they kidding? He notes:

Humor

The Top 16 Disney Movies in Hell

OK, it's a kind of raunchy list, and I only tied for 8th (you should have seen the tie for 16th… like a train wreck), but I made the list, so here goes:

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

Editing Hitler

Phil Albinus notes a funny column about editing Hitler which appeared on Slate.com.

Adding:

Yup. So did Mussolini.

Also, this short joke from Daniel Dern:

Movies

Saving Grace

You want the facts? Go to the Internet Movie Database.

As it says on IMDB, this is what British filmmaking is all about. This adorable little comedy, directed by Nigel Cole is just the latest in a series of British films about small-town eccentricity in the United Kingdom. It's enough to make you think the country really is filled chuck-a-block with odd, endearing characters.

Brenda Blethyn plays grace, pretty much the only recognizable star in the cast. You may remember her from Little Voice, or Secrets and Lies.

The tagline is "The joint venture that will have you rolling in the aisles." Grace's husband dies, leaving her deeply in debt and in danger of losing the family home. All she knows is gardening. Her dope-smoking yard man gets her to grow marijuana, and, as they say in Hollywood, "then the fun begins."

If you can get past the plot being based on the crime of growing dope, as well as a little bad language, and a little violence, it is an hysterically funny film.

And, just to be reassuring, in terms of the film's morality, the marijuana she grows never gets out of her greenhouse. I don't think that's giving too much away.

The Replacements

You want the facts? Go to the Internet Movie Database.

If you're a big Keanu Reeves fan, or a really big Gene Hackman fan, you might enjoy this sports comedy. But despite what it says at IMDB, it doesn't really work.

The tag line is "Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play." It is based on the 1987 professional football players' strike. The striking players are painted as purely bad guys, the replacements as purely good guys. Reeves is the quarterback who blew his final college game, Hackman the coach the owner fired once before.

This movie is a paint-by-numbers effort. My daughter's friend, Jenny Cohen, summed it up nicely, "there wasn't a single scene where you couldn't tell at the start where it was going to go by the end."

Mildly amusing and completely predictable.

Letters

This Is What I Get For Skipping A Week

You may recall the note I sent out last week:

Phil Gill responded:

Well, maybe, but William Tecumsah Sherman said it first, in 1884, according to the encyclopedia, among many other references.

Art Garcia noted,

And Joe Brancatelli chipped in:

Dan Rosenbaum offers this capsule review:

Finally, I got another very nice note from Miranda Bailey of Pampa, Texas who stumbled across my journalism movie page:

Thank you Miranda.