Hello!

We are in the third grade at Greenbriar Academy in Durham, North Carolina. We are located in Durham County, near Raleigh, which is the capital of North Carolina. Our social studies teacher, Ms. Thompson, is helping us by using her e-mail address as our e-mail receiver.

We have decided to map an e-mail project. We are curious to see where in the world (which is our topic of study) our e-mail will travel via the Internet.

We will be limiting our time to the period of December 1, 2000 to March 1, 2001 (only 3 months). This is not a pen-pal project, so we will not write you back (unless you request it). We would like your help. If you receive this message, we ask that you:

2) send this letter on to everyone you know so that they can send it on to everyone they know (and so on) to help us reach even more people. (We do not mind receiving repeats so send it on to everyone. We are tracking the number of responses we receive by making a graph using the numbers received by state and country.)

Your friends,
Greenbriar Academy Third Grade Students
(Ms. Thompson's Social Studies Class)
Durham, North Carolina

CAMBRIDGE, MASS.--When ideology, rather than economics, determines the model by which public transit services are supplied, it is the passenger, as well as the public purse, who loses out.
In blocking privatization, California Democrats have preserved the Metropolitan Transportation Authority's poor service and management structure. Meanwhile, uncritical belief in the private sector and contempt for anything publicly run have prevented Republicans from considering ways the public sector could be made more responsive and efficient. As a result, the privatization debate has bypassed the potential for learning from the achievements of smaller-scale operations such as in Long Beach and Santa Monica, which are tightly managed and at similar costs to privatized operators like Foothill Transit.

On the first play of the game, the Giants' Bill Rigney stretched a single, sliding into second just as the ball arrived. "Safe," said George Magerkurth, a large umpire. From the stands came the poignant, haunting, melodious mating call of the Greenpoint jungle.

"You," Billy Herman advised Mr. Magerkurth, with simple dignity, "are a short word of Anglo-Saxon origin."

1)Go to Google and write in dumb MF (I have spelled it out for you in the link so you don't have to type the words yourself).
2) note #1 result. enjoy.

ALMOST EVERY MORNING, Archie jumps up on the bed about 5 a.m. and lies down near my head. I have trained him not to lie on my face, which is grand progress. He is waiting for me to wake up. When I do, he begins to purr and stretch extravagantly, apparently happy just to see me sentient again. Human companion not dead as first feared.

Really, of course, it's about food. It's always about food. If I don't get the message rapidly enough, Archie will jump down and run to the door in that Lassie-based "quick, quick, little Timmy is drowning in the crick" sort of way.

If that doesn't rouse me, he returns to the bed and the drama begins again.

January 25, 2001

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

"Temptation Island" is a new reality-based TV show in which couples are placed on an island where their fidelity is tempted by a number of hot-bodied, scantilly-clad gym dwellers.

15> Your best offer so far? BRANDI6969@AOL.COM has invited you to chat..."

14> Instead of T&A, your daily temptation is all about cheesecake and chocolate.

13> The biggest boobs around belong to your 14-year-old son.

12> The name of the island is Rikers, the only person trying to get into your pants is your cellmate.

11> Everyone speaks German.

10> The four geezers in the hot tub are singing "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" instead of "My Girl."

9> The most tempting things on your island are the roller coaster and the corn dogs.

8> The clueless bastard coming on to you looks just like the ex-president.

7> After the sweaty advances of the local man-flesh, the only temptation you have is to dive into shark-infested waters and swim back to the mainland.

6> The only person hitting on you is a volleyball named Wilson.

5> Nightclub entertainment consists of a wind-up chimp banging on a tin drum.

4> The only time someone tries to grab your coconuts is when the Professor's making another Geiger counter.

3> Creepy old Fidel keeps trying to tempt you with a spare roll of toilet paper.

2> Sister Mary Margaret keeps whacking you with that ruler every time you cop a feel.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You're NOT on Temptation Island...

1> No STD concerns, but they did screen all single women for osteoporosis.

======================

Selected from 103 submissions from 56 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------
Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 1 (10th #1)
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 14
Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor

January 26, 2001

15> Only being able to fit one carry-on explosive in the overhead bin.

14> Wish people would call them "Political Mayhem Specialists" like it says on the business cards.

13> Your group life insurance premium goes sky high every time a co-worker blows himself up.

12> Having to show two forms of fake ID when buying bomb-making materials.

11> The way hostages snicker when your partner secretly sets your cell phone to ring "Happy Birthday To You."

10> Hostages who try to play that old "Oh yeah? Well Allah told ME that you should let me go!" game.

9> Premature interrogation.

8> Just when you're in the zone for your suicide bombing, your friggin' fertilizer allergy kicks in.

7> By the time you've finished triple-frisking the delivery boy, the pizza is cold.

6> Jihad coordinators who prefer that we strap dynamite to our bodies and blow ourselves up instead of just writing a strongly-worded letter.

5> Those damn "Zesty" ads.

4> None of your terrorist buddies will ride in your car bomb so you can use the HOV lane.

3> Friggin' childproof caps on Anthrax containers.

2> Coach bin Laden always sprays you with spittle during his halftime anti-American rants.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Terrorist Pet Peeve...

1> Knowing that when he reads your letter, the new American President will not only mispronounce your name, he'll also say "nuke-U-lar."

===================

Selected from 113 submissions from 61 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
-------------------------------------
Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 1 (2nd #1)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 1 (25th #1 / Hall of Famer)
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 9
Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor

Ginger is actually the IBM PC2

I think that the unattributed jokes in your column this week are George Carlin's, probably from his book "Brain Droppings."

On or about Inauguration Day 1969, Herbert Block (aka Herblock) (who typically provides the most insightful political analysis available in the nation; on the atypical days, a Canadian import by the name of Trudeau finishes first) offered a free shave to the President who swore out a false oath (something about knowingly failing to preserve and protect) on that day. Herblock later regretted it. You, on the other hand, have the opportunity to exercise the full range of your First Amendment rights in the allegedly humorous section of your column now as opposed to waiting for 100 days or so. Do so. Rights unused wither.

While we're on the topic, what's a 5 letter synonym for bipartisanship? Hint: Sometimes also used to describe a container for cheese.

Being politically unaware as I am, I fail to understand Brancatelli's ambiguous reference to a Presidential felon (singular). Was he thinking of Johnson, Carter, Reagan, GHWBush, or the one who got the free shave?

Similarly still being politically unaware as I am, I fail to understand Brancatelli's ambiguous reference to a Presidential actor (singular). Was he thinking of Reagan, GWBush, or Cheney?

When it's cherry blossom time in Orange, New Jersey
We'll make a peach of a pair.
I know we cantaloupe
But honeydew be mine.